Goodbye?

Well, I guess it has been about a month since I have posted on here! Woopsy! My Mom has been here that whole time, and on top of finals I have been moving into my Grandparents, so it has been a rather busy time.

Yesterday I dropped my Mom off at the airport, I haven’t heard yet if she has arrived, but she should be arriving in Niger sometime within the next hour. I’ve said goodbye far too many times in my life. Usually the tears don’t come. They are usually hidden away deep down inside where nobody can see and nobody knows. When I left Niger, I said goodbye to about 35 people, some very special places and I didn’t cry until I had hugged the last person goodbye. Then, I cried. Anyways, I think that most MKs have different ways of coping with saying goodbye. Some of us move on way before it is actually time to say goodbye, kind of tricking ourselves into thinking that if we pull out early it won’t hurt as much when the goodbye’s actually happen. Some of us realize just a couple weeks beforehand that we need to say goodbye to every single thing that we know and love, and therefore throw ourselves into life and relationships with a passion that never existed before. Some of us get very moody and grumpy and just don’t know how to deal with it. And some of us just cry and cry and cry throughout the whole experience. Well, I am one of those who usually throws myself into it with a passion, although I have a special ‘goodbye’ wall in my heart that I put up whenever I know that goodbye’s are imminent. This wall serves to protect my heart from hurt, to prevent myself from crying when the moment actually comes and to simply numb me so I don’t have to go through it AGAIN.

Well, yesterday I dropped my Mom off at the airport, the wall set firmly in place. I guess my wall isn’t too strong through, because it came tumbling down the moment that I got back into the car.

Don’t be too sad for me. I have been greatly comforted by this trip that my Mom made back to the States. I have been feeling so much better and it was so helpful to know that she loves me enough to travel across half the world to be with me. How deep a mother’s love must be! I am also not sad because I know that my parents are in the right place, and I am in the right place. As much as I love and miss Niger, I know and understand that God does not have me there at this time in my life. He has me as a student at Cedarville, a friend to my friends here and a fiancee to my man. He has my parents as teachers at the Bible school, personal director, encouragers, mentors and evangelists.

So, while I am sad to see my Mom go, I also rejoice that she is able to carry on the work that the Lord has called her to do!

 

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One thought on “Goodbye?

  1. Heather says:

    really beautiful. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m so thankful that you are feeling better. Praying that you continue to be well.

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