Sorry, another two blog posts in a row. I was driving this morning and thinking about different aspects of getting married. I am really nervous about how much my whole world is going to change when I get married, how Theo and I will suddenly be learning so much about each other, our expectations and how we will do life together as a family rather than separate units. I am also so excited about so many different aspects of marrying the love of my life. So I was thinking of lies that we are told (especially in the church) about marriage.
1. Married people are more beneficial to the church than single people are.
Where does this even come from??? What a lie!! We need to start using both married and single people in the church- for some of the same roles and for some different roles. The next one goes along with this:
2. Married people have attained the ultimate good
Of all the things that could/would happen in life, marriage is the ultimate one. It’s not becoming a believer. This leads to the mindset that if you are still single you have not accomplished things in life. This leads to the idea that single people are still missing something: something huge and important. And that changes the way that marrieds and singles interact. This is also a lie.
3. Married people have sex all the time.
People laugh at me when I say that our house will always be open to visitors. They giggle and blush and say ‘yeah, right, you’ll want all the time that you can get alone’. I’m not married yet, but I know that it’s not true that married people have sex all the time. It’s just a lie!
4. Married people stop sinning sexually after they are married.
This is another one that I think the church really struggles with. Many people in the church will look down on a young dating couple, telling them what they are doing wrong or what is inappropriate. But as soon as marriage occurs, they are fully accepted into the fold. It should not be this way!!! If sexual sin is in the heart before marriage, it will continue to be in the heart after marriage. It may present itself in different ways, but just because a couple has said ‘I do’ does not mean that they have abolished that sin in their heart. I think that this is something that the church really needs to work on.
And my absolute favorite:
5. Married people don’t need friends anymore
WHAT?????!!!! Who says? Just because Theo has become my best friend does not mean that I do not need friends…girlfriends and guy friends! Of course the majority of my quality time will be spent with Theo, but I can GUARANTEE that I will still need my girl nights and chances to hang out with friends on a consistent basis.
So there you have it…some lies that I have already heard spoken (or just acted out) related to marriage. What other lies do you think are out there geared towards the marriage/singleness?