Meow Meow: A Day in the Life of Moose

4:00 AM- Dang it, I’ve been awake for almost 5 minutes and I just can’t lay here any longer. These people sleep for too long! I’ll try the gentle technique to wake them up… pURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. There! There, I saw a foot move! I…I just can’t….resist…..POUNCE. Aha! Now I saw the eyelids flicker…I must get to his face. Let’s see…the quickest way to get to his face from my feet would be to walk directly up his leg, onto his tummy, up his chest and onto his face! There, now he is awake! Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh! He’s gonna lock me in the bathroom AGAIN.

6:00 AM- Finally! I have been freed from my bathroom prison! Now I can run around! JUMP! POUNCE! A PEN!!! A FOOTTT!!!!! A HAND!!! RUNNNNNNNNNNNN across the house! RUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNN back! JUMP! POUNCE! I’m so happy I just have to PUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

8:00 AM- The man just left for work. I tried to escape out the door and up the big tall mountain, but somehow they always catch me. Now it’s just me and the woman who just cleans and writes all morning. What am I going to do? I guess I’m pretty tired so I’ll take a nap….right here on this warm thing. It’s also very bright and things inside it move. When I walk on it, sometimes the noise gets louder.  The man and woman sometimes call a ‘computer’. But sometimes they also call it a ‘laptop’. I don’t know what it REALLY is, but it’s my favorite spot to nap.

11:00 AM- That woman just started banging around in the room with all the food, and something smells REALLY good. When I first got here, they fed me as much as my stomach could hold, but then the man went onto that thing called a computer and started talking about a diet. I don’t know what a diet it, but since they talked about it I’ve been real hungry. Now when the lady stats to make something that smells good, what does she expect me to do? My Momma trained me to get my own food, so I go for it. But for some reason, no matter how many times I express my need to get to this good smelling food, they throw me off the big countertop. Sometimes they even spank me! But the worst yet is when they spray me with WATER from that horrible blue spray bottle. I just have to run when I see that thing come out!

12:00 PM- The woman leaves and shortly after the man comes back. He’s only there for a little bit, but sometimes he plays with me and even gives me some food. The woman is good for napping on, but the man is good for playing with and gaining food. Then, they leave me in the house. For an eternity. They will never know what I do in this time. They think I sleep the whole afternoon, but I really am much smarter than that….

5:00 PM- FINALLY, someone is home. The man. Good. PUUUURRRRRRRRRR. Maybe I’ll get food or maybe….maybe…..maybe…… I’ll actually be able to run around!!!!!!!!!! RUUUNNNNNN!!!! JUMP!!! POUNCE!!!!!RUUUUNNNNNN!!!!! POUNCE!!!!! He always sets me on a stool while he washes the dishes. They all think it’s cute that I like to watch him doing household chores, but really it’s because I’m too small to jump down from that high thing, so I HAVE to sit there and watch him.

6:30 PM- The woman finally gets home and they work together in the kitchen to make something that smells good again. They eventually sit down to eat it but no matter what I try they won’t let me near it. A couple times the woman has let me eat some of the leftovers, though. Maybe I am getting through…little by little, slowly but surely.

EVENING- The man and the woman, they don’t do much in the evening. It’s pretty boring really. Sometimes when I get the surge of energy running through me, the man will play with me. He brings out all sorts of toys like ropes, boxes, little MICE and slippers. We have a lot of fun and by the time we are done, I am ready for bed!!!

Don’t worry, I’ll keep everyone updated on escape methods, how to steal food, what makes that man and woman happy (purring, not waking them up at night, not climbing on tables and counters, etc) and what makes them very unhappy (like when I play with the bouncy, snake-like thing that comes from the ‘computer’ or that time I pooped on the carpet…..=( ). That’s all for now!!!

– gnxgfjnvvberk,kM (Moose)

ImageThis is me…it was a special day when they let me go outside.

ImageI love this picture…look at my fine form.

ImageHere I am watching the man do the dishes. (Sidenote: This makes the woman very happy!)

ImageThis is me and the woman. I guess she is kind of pretty, but her ears are so small and low and her face is so flat with that dry, fleshy nose. The man seems to like her, though!




One thought on “Meow Meow: A Day in the Life of Moose

  1. Beth says:

    Oh my! I don’t know how I missed this one when you wrote it but I love it! My mom used to write me letters when I was away at K.A. from my cat. They were amazing!

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