The past two weeks, Theo and I have been going, going, going…with no pause. It’s really starting to catch up to me, and I’m starting to feel very overwhelmed with this ‘new bride, new responsibility’ thing. I absolutely LOVE being married, and my husband is beyond wonderful…I couldn’t ask for a better marriage (already), or a better life that I am living right now, but I am very overwhelmed.
Maybe it was because I worked a 10 hour shift (with18 6 year olds!!!) yesterday, but I was feeling pretty down. I *like* my job (sometimes we have a love/hate relationship, though), but I do not like to leave my home. I have found my “thing”….and that is being at home, taking care of the house, baking things in the oven and experimental dinners from one of my new cookbooks. That is where I want to be right now. But instead, I can give those things only 3-4 hours of my day and the rest is work at the center. I hate that. I feel like I don’t have time to be a wife, to put my house in order and to cook tasty meals for Theo…and that is my number 1 priority. It’s just so frustrating. On top of that, I keep seeing all these posts on facebook about vacations. “Two week vacation until school starts again!” “Last day of work today..” “Home with the family until school starts!”. Nope. Not me. My last day of work is Friday the 17th, my first day of the semester is Monday the 20th. I am absolutely overwhelmed with that fact. I don’t know how I am going to switch gears that fast, but still keep up with all these wifey things (which are the things that I actually just want to be doing in the first place!)
This summer has been beyond amazing…I got married. I spent two weeks vacatioing in the DR with my husband. God provided me with a job that I do not dread everyday. Theo and I have an apartment….and it is really starting to look like a home! All of these things make for one of the best summer of my life.
But pray for me, will you? I am so overwhelmed with these changes. The newness and the excitement of them are starting to wear off, and with it comes the weariness and discouragement of my constant failure. I know that I am so young and am just learning these things, so I do not need to worry about all this. Pray that I will search Scripture to find my comfort, and that Theo and I will continue to grow and grow and grow in our relationship with each other and with the Lord. Pray that my heart will be content whatever the circumstances…because if I truly look at it from the right perspective, my circumstances are WONDERFUL. And pray that the first week of school is super EASY so I can count that as a little vacation. =)