I am….

….humbled….

Yesterday was a hard day. I had a meeting with someone that left me angrier than I have ever been in my whole life. Like, shaking with rage, I just got up and left. And then bawled and yelled myself hoarse in the quiet of the car. And I prayed, “Dear Lord, change the situation and change me.” And this crazy peace came over me. And although I still felt the raw pain and anger, I also felt something different. I felt the other side. I felt the loneliness, I felt this person’s need to hold onto pride so that she wouldn’t feel like a nothing. I felt the deep love that God has for her and the way that He sees the situation. I resolved to not complain about the situation any longer, nor to bad-mouth the person who is involved. I am still not happy, but I was very humbled.

Humbled that God still loves me, despite the anger and selfish motives that I have displayed throughout this whole thing.

Humbled that God would forgive me in a heartbeart with all my many flaws, yet I just want to hold onto the sins of another.

Humbled that so many people care about me and want to help me, even if the one person who can do something about it doesn’t seem to care.

Since I found out about this situation, my devotions have become so much more to me. And through that, I can already see what God is doing here. I have nothing to cling to, no one who can help me out of this situation. So God is going to change my attitude.

I also feel blessed. I am pretty sure that I am the most blessed woman in the world. Have you seen my husband? Have you heard about how He treats me, how He leads me in Christ? Have you seen my fuzzball, Moose? Have you heard his purrs when he snuggles up against you? Have you heard about my Saviour? The one who had the right to be frustrated, angry and unwilling to forgive, yet He did. Yes, I AM BLESSED.

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In Christ, I am…

– I am complete

– I am alive with Christ

– I am free from the law of sin and death

– I am not a slave to fear

– I am born of God

– I am holy and without blame

– I am God’s workmanship, created in Christ to do good works

– I am a new creature in Christ

– I am more than a conquerer

– I am healed by the healer

– I am an ambassador for Christ

– I am strengthened with might according to His glorious power

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2 thoughts on “I am….

  1. Beth says:

    May God’s truth strengthen you and give you the grace needed to extend His grace to this other individual, Suzanne!

  2. Anonymous says:

    Perhaps you’ve seen on FB that a number of people are choosing a word for the year–asking God to give them a word for what He wants to do in their life. During my devotions on Sunday, God showed me that the root of many of my hurt feelings, disappointments, anger, and so on, is pride. The word God gave me for this year is humility. I had been thinking about a lot of other easier:) words, like Refresh. I didn’t even know I had a problem with pride. But God told me my word was humility, and He has been reminding me of it moment by moment. I hadn’t really considered that wanting to please people and make people happy, to have people notice your work, notice you, notice what you are doing, is all pride. A hundred times a day, God is showing this to me. I don’t have the quote with me, but something about there being no pride in worship, that pride and worship can’t coexist. Worship is all about God, and Him alone. So in learning humility this year, I trust I will be learning to worship. Thank you for sharing what God helped you recognize in this hard, hard situation you are going through.
    Love, Aunt Natalie

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