Day 2: Three of my biggest fears and why

Hello and welcome to Day 2 of the 30 day blog-post challenge! Head on over to Baby Making Machine to hear how this challenge started, to check out other bloggers doing this challenge, and to link up yourself! Check out this post for #1: 20 Random Facts About Me.

Today’s post is about three of my biggest fears, and why/how they became fears.

Someone’s fears say a lot about who they are. In my case, my fears point to my exact weaknesses, the places that I have not totally surrendered to God. Or I have surrendered them, but they just keep resurfacing…every month, every week, every day, sometimes every hour.

1. Never making a difference. I am terrified of this. And sometimes I am so scared of it that I don’t do anything. And then my fears become real. You see, I am an overachiever, competitive and a perfectionist. In our American culture, that makes the perfect recipe to succeed and become great and famous and popular. But that is not the way it should be. Because inside THAT is what I am afraid of becoming. Doing things simply so I can check them off the “bucket list”. Doing things just so I can beat someone else to doing them. Doing things so that people will say, “Wow!” and pour compliments on me. I am afraid of becoming all that. Because that is exactly the opposite of what I was created to do. I was not created to bring myself glory, success or praise. I was created to bring God glory.

2. Hippo’s. Yes, you read that right. I am legitimately afraid of Hippos. It might have something to do with this event in my life:

That is me in the gray shirt in the canoe. The nearest brown ‘island’ is in fact a real, live hippo. The boys (the one with the oars) decided that they wanted to get as close as possible. The scariest thing about hippo’s, though, is that they can go underwater for hours…and swim like an Olympic swimmer despite their size. No way did I want to be anywhere near that hippo. They are also HUGE and pretty quick on land, too. I’ve met a person who had no leg due to the fact that a hippo chomped it off. Ok, legitmate fear? Thank you. Let’s move on to the next one.

3. Losing everything. Like Job, in the Bible. Like the homeless men and women that are all across the United States and throughout the world. I am not saying that to look down on them, like I am where I am because I worked hard. I took a class at Cedarville called Urban Ministry, and I know that nothing could be farther from the truth. Did you know that I am only about two decisions away from being completely broke/bankrupt/homeless? This honestly terrifies me! And yet it shows me that I am not in control of any of this. I did not “make” any money, God gave it us. Yes, we work hard, but God gives us that ability. There is nothing that I have earned, and therefore I know that it could be gone in a blink of the eye. Now, I don’t think that God is tyrannical and just takes things away from his children. But losing everything is still a huge fear of mine.

Sooo…what about you?


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