If Only…

Sometimes the jealousy bug gets me. And it gets me good.

Actually, let’s make that a lot of the time.

Facebook and the blogging world don’t really help all that much. Sometimes I wonder if I should keep both, if I am just writing to get some recognition, or if I am just writing to write. Sometimes I wonder what the point of this blog is, and then I think about this 30-post challenge and how it has been just writing all. about. me. and I think how boring that really must be for my readers. Nobody really wants to read about how I think or how I feel. But, I am not a quitter and I am going to complete these 30 posts! I also have several other things that I will begin blogging about, such as my teaching/job, being a bridesmaid in a super fun upcoming wedding and just adjusting to life after college (which so far has been WAAAAYYYY easier than life during college!).

(Sidenote: I’m not pregnant. I can’t tell you how many people asked us yesterday if Theo should be wished a Happy Father’s Day. Did I say something that made us seem pregnant? If so, I am very sorry… I will let you know FOR SURE when the time is right to announce it. For now…I am not pregnant. End of sidenote)

Anyyyyyways, back to jealousy.

I find myself comparing myself to a lot of other people, and it is not a good thing. It destroys a lot of my self-confidence, not to mention that it really gets in the way of me using my gifts and talents to serve others. Because of that weakness that I have, I try to not reflect on things that I am not good at that I wish I was. Butttt….

The topic for #17 of the 30-post challenge is

What is the thing you most wish you were great at?

Honestly, I think I most wish I was great at being musical. I shy away from it, because I am so bad at it. However, I do often wish I could sing and maybe play the piano. This wish especially comes to me when I am in church, and we are singing a beautiful song. I feel so “in the moment”, and I really want to be able to sing that same song again when I get home. But then I can’t. Because I can’t sing. Or play an instrument.

The nice thing about this is that the people I work with really don’t care. I actually sing all the time at work- camp songs, repeat-after-me songs and even a worship song or two during our devotions. The kids don’t mind. They don’t even notice. They are just having fun. And so I guess God knew exactly what he was doing when he gave me my strengths and weaknesses =)



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