I posted this picture on facebook and Instagram yesterday, and I got a lot of feedback from it. I promised you all blog posts about our journey, so here is the first “official” one. I thought I would just answer some questions that we have gotten, and hopefully answer the questions that you have that you might not have asked!
Where are you in the process?
Well, if you take a look at the above picture, there are no boxes checked off yet! We are literally right at the beginning of this journey. Yesterday we pretty much finished the application and we will send it in later this week, after we put the last finishing touches on it. It’s all really exciting and really terrifying at the same time. Part of me wants to rip up the application and hide it away and not saying anything to anybody because then we aren’t accountable to it at all. I know that as soon as I put it in our mailbox, our lives will begin to change forever. Change is not bad, it’s just….change.
How does this work?
Well, again, you can look at the picture above. First, we send in an application. They review it, send it back if they don’t approve or if we missed filling something in. Eventually, they file it, and within 30 days someone contacts us and sets us up with a social worker who will do our home study. A home study happens in 4 visits (at least in our county) and can take up to a year, but from how I understand it, it is mostly dependent on how quickly we get our act together. During and after the home study come classes that will make us certified to be foster parents. We also have to compile every important life document that exists, especially documents about background, FBI clearance, and making sure our home and pets are up to American codes. After all this happens, a child will be placed in our home. We have requested a child between 0-8 years old, so this is a broad spectrum here!
When will you officially be foster parents?
We have no clue. Only God really knows. We are hoping within a year, hopefully less. However, only God really knows. It excites me so much that God already knows the very children that will be placed in our home. He knows their stories, he knows their past, he knows their future. He knows how many tears we will cry throughout process, he knows how many months and days they will be in our care. This just blows my mind, and makes me feel so at peace about the whole process.
Can you have kids?
First off, please don’t ever ask anyone this and say “Can you have REAL kids.” (yes, this happens). Foster children and adopted children ARE REAL KIDS. There is a language that comes with adoption, and it is one that is very sensitive. Instead, you can gently ask someone, “Can you have biological children?” And the answer to this question for us is “we don’t know yet!”. As far as we know, we don’t have a problem producing biological children. We feel the Lord leading us to have a big family, and a family that most certainly includes adopted children. So we are beginning that part of the journey now. And don’t worry, faithful blog readers- I will let you know if we are pregnant! Chill.
Do you know what you are doing?
Nope. We don’t have a clue. We both know that the journey into foster care will not be an easy one. We don’t even know if it is for us in the long run. But without a doubt, we feel God leading us to this. We know that if He has asked us to do it, He will equip us. He could be asking us to do it, so that we will say yes, and he will use that more for transforming US than transforming the children placed in our home (what we see as our goal). He knows what He is doing, and we are simply trying to be faithful to his call. Everyone I know who has done foster care or been in foster care has told me how challenging it is. This does put some fear into my heart, but I am hoping that it is a healthy fear. I am not going into this thinking that it is going to be the most immediately rewarding thing. I know that it is not. I know that I will cry a lot, I know that we will have to let some children go, whether their time with us is up or the act of taking care of them becomes too much of a struggle. I know that my heart is about to be blown wide open by love for these children and the pain that marks a heart that cannot seem to make an earthly difference. We don’t know what we are doing. We don’t know how hard it will be. We don’t even know HOW to be parents! But we are stepping out in faith.
Are you sure about this?
Yes. Yes. YES!!! I have never felt such a peace and excitement about a journey that I have embarked on before. It has been coming in a still, small whisper for over a year now. At first, we didn’t recognize it. But all the subtle little clues have led to this moment, and we are leaping out in faith. As I mentioned above, I know that it will not be easy. It will probably be the hardest thing that we have ever done. Maybe it will be the hardest thing that we ever do. But we are SURE.
How can we pray for you?
Well, as you all know, we don’t know how to be parents. Pray for us in that. We are going to become parents of children who may already have their own parents. We might become parents of children who are several years older than our marriage. We might become parents of children who want to make parenting extremely difficult. Just pray for us, that we will learn how to become parents.
– Patience in the process
– Using our time as single marrieds to prepare for the foster children that will be in our care
– Pray for the children that will be in our care. Each one is already known by Him.
– Open hearts and minds to the work that God is wanting to do in us through this process
If you have any other questions, please send them our way! Thank you so much everybody for your support in this journey!