I don’t really know what to write in this post, so it’s going to be more like a mind dump.
Yesterday afternoon, we had to put Hansi down.
He was diagnosed with parvo virus on Tuesday morning, and was treated all day Tuesday with IV and antibiotic fluid. On Wednesday, we took him back in, expecting to pursue a cheaper outpatient treatment option. However, the vet recommended, in all honesty, that he would probably not make it if we took him home. He had been vomiting so much that he had begun aspirating and was developing pneumonia. He also had a fever of 106. Poor thing was so miserable I couldn’t even stay in room at the vet’s office. We agreed to keep him there for one more day and then try to go from there. Around 3:00, they called Theo and told him that Hansi had taken a turn for the worst and was unconscious due to low oxygen levels. At this point, it was up to us, but they recommended that we put him down since it was highly unlikely for him to pull out of it. For those of you who know me, you know what a bad decision maker I am….especially a decision like that. Thankfully, Theo knows me well, and made the decision himself to put Hansi down. Normally I like to be consulted on big life decisions, but this time I was so glad that Theo didn’t even call me (I was at work), and ask what we should do.
I’ve never had to deal with the death of a dear, young pet. Growing up, we had a cat, Midnight. She was near and dear to me, but she died at the ripe old age of 15. She hardly suffered, just laid down one day and gave up the ghost 12 hours later. But this time? This puppy was ours- I fought to even LIKE Hansi at the beginning, but I was slowly growing more and more attached. He was only 5 months old, and we had only had him for 4 months. It is so sad to me that he didn’t get to live a longer life. We had only gotten him up to about a mile in running. I was going to look for a 5K that I could do with him in the Spring.
Theo and I are trying to figure out how to properly grieve. It was a dog, and not a human life, so we must be careful to not take it too far. However, this dog was ours. and we spent every day of the last 3 months training him, playing with him, laughing with him and learning to love him. He was certainly a part of our family.
I do miss that sweet puppy already. When he would chase Moose up and down the house. How he had become so well behaved when it was feeding time. How he loved to go on morning walks/runs with me. How he would sneakily climb up on the bed and scoot closer and closer to me for a cuddle. How he would subtly lick me, just stick out his tongue and LICK and I HATED that. How good he was with kids, loving on them and being gentle with them. Oh, he was a great dog.
Again, forgive me for the mind dump, I just need to get it out. It is helping me already let go and allow myself time to be sad.
Before Hansi came along, I had no appreciation for dogs. I was a little bit scared of them and I hated more things about them than I liked. But since getting Hansi, I have come to like and appreciate dogs so much more. I don’t know I would qualify myself as a “dog person” yet, but I was most certainly a “Hansi person”. We sure will miss you, Hansi.